Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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