fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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