The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude i'm inner monologue high
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
