Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
how drunk are you?
Several
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
