Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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