I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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