Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Randomize
