Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This baby is an asshole
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
