my vag is so smooth its legendary
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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