...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
