just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
