Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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