i don't like sucking hair
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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