It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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