She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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