I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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