My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
