The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
