im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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