And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
