Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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