dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
