Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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