So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she smelled like a LAN party
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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