Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
