I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
