her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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