They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There's always time for handjobs
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drunk is a universal language darling
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize