Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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