Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
