I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
