I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize