i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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