she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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