Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
