My room smells like vodka and shame
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
