just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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