I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
