whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You're a waste of cheezeits
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
