He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
