Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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