You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
