i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize