He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize