I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize