Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
