mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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