fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize