he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
