Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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