but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
