And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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