she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
