using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
