dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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