Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
