this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
