No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
