Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
