Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize