Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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