Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
