this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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